(This is another post written several years ago in 2023 but added to my blog in 2026. Sorry if that creates a time-warp conundrum. The reason for posting this is for context to help me remember my journey.)

Why can I not sit still and read for an hour?

Why do I read so much slower than others?

Why do I find it impossible to stop fidgeting and sit still?

Why do I find the prospect of having to do a load of reading for college so daunting?

These are questions that I have asked myself over the years and recently. 

In the last few weeks I have started studying again - part time - at St Augustine’s College of Theology. 

A lot of my time has been preoccupied with questions around ‘how will I cope?’ It’s been a long time since I have ever done anything like this and the last time I tried it was not a great experience, far from it. 

In the first session of college some time was spent on ‘knowing yourself.’ I am 50 years old. Surely I know myself don’t I?

Well it turns out - not really!

This week, after a screening session I have discovered that I am ADHD-PI - Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Predominantly Inattentive. 

On top of that I also discovered that I am visually dyslexic. 

What does that mean in practice - well there is a ton of reading you can do on it and I am doing it in small chunks. 

I am not really interested in wearing it as a label but I know it is going to help me create and discover strategies that will help as I venture forward. 

What is a little disappointing is the fact that the term has disorder on the end of it. From what I have learnt so far - this is not a disorder that has happened at some point, this is part of who I am. 

Psalm 139:13-14 says ‘For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.’

This isn’t just part of who I am. This is purposeful and intentional and part of how the Creator made me. God made me ADHD-PI. God made me mildly visually dyslexic. 

For the last few years I have had the privilege of working with and interacting with adults with additional needs. It has opened my eyes to how there are so many ways of interacting with what is around us and processing what we see, hear, touch, smell, and taste. It has been amazing and made me realise how varied and complex God’s creation of us really is and we do a massive disservice to that creation by trying to limit or pigeon hole that creation into limited categories. 

The reasons for sharing this?

I hope that what I have shared maybe helps you think about those around you. 

I hope that what I have shared gives you permission to think about it and even ask questions of yourself.

I am happy to chat privately by message, phone or in person. 

Now……..where on earth have I put my keys?!? 🤣🤪💭😳